I felt inspired this morning to start tweeting about my #favouritethings and then feeling lucky that I frequently get to include those things in my daily life. One thought that popped up to be included in the list ended up being a lot more than 140 characters so I thought it deserved a blog post.
It was about the challenge of being someone who feels driven to help people find happiness, or growth, or weight loss, or learning to bake a cake, but knowing that the most meaningful learning is when people figure those things out for themselves. Over time, in various different circumstances, I’ve learned that the helpful thing is often to hold back not doing the work for them but just being there, observing, noticing those moments when stepping in with a bit more guidance might be useful. Remembering not to make assumptions about what people need but to ‘say what you see’ about what they’re doing while giving encouragement and inspiration. Hopefully creating an environment in which it feels safe to try, make mistakes, and keeping trying.
The fears and demons that can cause stumbles and self-doubts are the hardest part to deal with. They’re so unique to each individual and often hide away then pop out in weird ways and are rarely able to be articulated clearly. In fact I’ve noticed from my own experience that once I’m able to identify and name a fear about something it often then evaporates, or at least feels a lot more manageable. Although again those are things which a person on the outside has limited ability to help unravel.
This counts as one of my favourite things because as much as the hard work has to be done by the person on their own journey, wherever that may take them, I love the challenge of trying to figure out what might encourage or inspire someone without imposing too much of myself or my ideas. One thing I’ve noticed lately is that working on my own growth, tackling my own fears, accepting help and suggestions from others (ironically, something I really struggle with!), then sharing what I’m going through and learning from it seems to do more than only focusing outwards. Hopefully.