relentlessly average
relentlessly average

Summer Blues

It feels as though it’s been ages since I last wrote. Although I have been wanting to I haven’t been able to think of anything to say that wouldn’t have ended up sounding maudlin. Recovering a normal sleep schedule is apparently much easier than recovering energy levels. Summer holidays timetable changes meant I had two classes cancelled (which I think are unlikely to come back) and that has brought back up some of the grief from everything that changed with the first lockdown. There were a couple of weeks where I ended up eating way too much sugar (or way more than normal amounts). Right after I’d baked some (amazing) cookies my sister brought home a load of cupcakes she’d ordered for my birthday which of course I had to get through while they were still fresh. There’s probably no science to back this up but I’m convinced that high sugar content gives me a type of ‘hangover’ with low mood and motivation. The news has been consistently awful and worrying which seems to affect everyone else as well, although it is good to know that it wasn’t just me feeling flat. In the midst of that this article headline broke me. It’s completely right, of course, and I knew I wasn’t going to live to see it either way but this is something I’ve grown up feeling inspired by and being told Santa isn’t real when you’re already struggling to stay hopeful sucked a lot. Then it gets frustrating not be able to just shake off that mood.

Plenty of goodness has been happening too though. Normal everyday things that almost go unnoticed, everyone is well, meeting up with friends I don’t see very often, doing the best I can with clients and classes. I’m really bad at booking time off but have planned a few days at the end of the summer and going to tag along on mum and dad’s week away for a couple of nights. I bought one of those gadget things that lets you watch the streaming channels on the TV instead of the laptop. I discovered I can also swap it over to the main TV in the living room so I made mum watch Defending Jacob with me (I say ‘made’ like she’s not a huge crime drama / Scandi noir fan and it was a hard sell). It was fun to watch a second time knowing then ending but with someone who hadn’t seen it. I had my second dose of COVID vaccine. The running is gradually back to a consistent routine but with the freedom of no training plan. Being there for the first Parkrun back in over a year. Strictly is back on soon, they’ve announced all the celebrities now and I think it’s going to be a good year, some different professional dancers doing the coaching so that should make it more interesting. Reading. Baking. Cookies as I mentioned and making my own pizza for the last few weekends rather than shop bought and trying to figure out the right amount of dough to not end up with something bigger than the plate or snacking afterwards. Nailing a routine for a weekly loaf. This week’s, a marmite sourdough with seeds, came out with a bulge that I started off thinking I need to work out how to prep it so that doesn’t happen but actually I like that it looks ‘imperfect’ and homemade.

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